Tuesday, December 7, 2021
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What Should I Do If I Don’t Like My Child’s Friend?

How do you allow this friendship to keep thriving while secretly wanting it to end?

What Should I Do If I Don’t Like My Child’s Friend?

Your child has finally found another kid that they connect with, they have hours of playdate or get-together, and rarely anything terrible happens. They can have an argument or disagreement but handle it themselves and return to normal.

It is a perfect friendship, and you could not have asked for anything better; however, there is a huge “but”… You don’t like this kid. You don’t have anything against children, obviously, but there is something with this particular child that rubs you the wrong way.

What do you do? What can you do? How do you allow this friendship to keep thriving while secretly wanting it to end? What do you do if you don’t like your child’s friend?


1. Rules

Children thrive from boundaries and guidelines. One of the main reason you may not like this child is that they do not follow the rules. Go over the rules and the consequences of what happens if those rules are broken.


2. Accountability

Hold your child accountable for both their behavior and that of their friend. You can have another child over, but if they break the rules of “our” house, we will have to limit the number of interactions that the two of you have.


3. Limit

In many situations, less is more, and that is a good thing. Limiting the amount of time, they spend together may decrease the chances of getting into too much mischief.


4. Communication

Talk to the other parent! The other parent may not know that their child is misbehaving. Do not volunteer parenting advice or suggestions this may not end up well.

Focus on talking about how great the children get along but they both sometimes end up getting into situations, and you want to figure out how to limit those negative exchanges when they are together. Confront the case together, be a team.


5. Acceptance

While the top four are suggestions that would decrease negative interactions sometimes non-will work and you have to accept it. Do pros and cons on whether you need even to address it.

While childhood friendship is a beautiful thing, they often go through different seasons.

This friendship may be a friend that your child will learn something from and then move on or child that you will end up liking in the future, with so many developmental changes ahead you never know.

What If Other Parents Don’t Like My Child?

Now here is the scenario reversed. What if YOU have that child that hardly gets invited and they only have ONE friend, and somehow you get the feeling that your child is not always welcomed at their best friend home.

What do you do with that? What if other parents don’t like your child?


1. Rules

Before your child goes to someone house, make sure you speak to them about how each home is different. While you may be okay with a more lenient household, be mindful that others may not believe in such a thing.


2. Offer your Home

It is less stressful to worry about whether or not your child is misbehaving if the get-together is at your house. While crazy mom Beatrice may freak out over eating crackers upstairs in the playroom, this may not be a big deal to you.


3. Communication

Talk to the other parent and ask how are things went when your child leaves that house. It’s important to know if your child has been misbehaving.


4. Be Considerate

Always be on time for pick-up. While the idea of your kid having the time of their life is over joyful to you, and you may want to let them play a little while longer this is NOT a good idea. Be respectful of the other household and other people’s time.


5. Offer Help

While the whole point is to do the least amount of work by sending your kid elsewhere offering your help with clean up may help ease the discomfort of another. Show up early and make sure your child reorganized the space as best as they can.


Click here for more content by Bea Moise, M.S.!

Bea Moise, M.S.
Beatrice Moise, M.S., BCCS., is a Mom to Awesome Jacob and Marvelous Abigail. Board Certified Cognitive Specialist, Parenting Coach at Southeastpsych.com. Creator of A Child Like Mine, LLC created to help parents of children with behavior issues and unique needs on the Autism Spectrum. She is a writer and has a monthly blog in Charlotte Parent Magazine called Thrive. Follow her on twitter @Bea_EsioM & @AChildLikeMine


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