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But Wait! What If I DON’T Want to Party?

So, You DON’T Want to Party?

College has this reputation, I think you know where I’m going with this. Ever seen Animal House? Revenge of the Nerds? Project X? Neighbors? I could write a full article listing off classic college-party-movies, but you get the point.

College is portrayed as this place that you go to get a higher education, but also to “Get Wrecked”. But what if board games and coffee are more your speed rather than keg stands, beer pong, and dancing?

Will you still fit in? Is college going to suck?

Have no fear! College isn’t going to suck! I don’t like to party. Not only do I don’t like to party, the mere thought of dancing makes me uncomfortable and I have no desire to ever be drunk.

Yes, I would probably fit in just fine in the town from Footloose, but that’s beside the point. You don’t have to party to fit in at college, and you can absolutely find friends outside of the party scene.

“Freshman year especially, everyone is in the same situation, they need friends.”

A common worry is that you won’t fit in, you won’t make friends, or your friends won’t want to stay your friends once they find out that you really don’t want to party. But I’m just going to say it plainly: that’s ridiculous.

First of all, if the friends you’re making are ones that won’t still want your friendship once they find out that you’re not into drinking in a sweaty heard of under-washed humans until 2:00 AM, then maybe they were never quality friends in the first place.

Let’s address these concerns one-by-one.


You Won’t Fit In

The desire to fit in is entirely human. It doesn’t mean that you’re selfish or shallow, it means that you’re a fully-functioning person. But you don’t have to do what the majority is doing in order to find a place where you belong.

College is great because, whatever your interest is, you can probably find a club where people have that same interest – or better yet, you can start that club. Is cross stitch your thing? You’re at a school with (most likely) thousands of people, there’s probably someone else who can jive with you over that.

Do you like French films, fantasy novels, or post-modern jazz? With even a little effort, I’m sure you can find people who like the same things, or who are open to trying new things.


You Won’t Find Friends

Freshman year especially, everyone is in the same situation, they need friends. Go and say hi to that girl that sits behind you in Philosophy that made a reference to Rick and Morty, ask her if she wants to get lunch with you.

It might seem weird, and out of your comfort zone, but classes are a great opportunity to try to make friends. You’re all at this college for the first time together, probably in a new place with new people, this is the chance to just say hello.

“you can absolutely find friends outside of the party scene.”

Don’t worry about seeming too eager, what’s the worst that could happen? They’ll think you’re too friendly? Oh no.

Do you live in the dorms? Prop your door open, make some coffee, and people will probably wander in. Some of the best friends I’ve made in college so far were people that I met in my dorm.

I decided that I would always leave my door open when I wasn’t busy studying or sleeping, and I made so many friends that way. Everyone is curious about how other people in their hall decorate their rooms, so if your door is open, they’re going to snoop. And if they snoop, they’ll feel obligated to talk to you. And if they talk to you, you might become their friend (just don’t forget to give the mouse a cookie)!

Some of my most fun memories from Freshman year are from when people would stop by to peek in and end up staying for an hour or more to hang out.

And guess what? You can find a place to belong and friends to meet without ever once having to pick up a single red solo cup.


Written by: Christiana Duerksen

Christiana Duerksen is a senior at Belmont University graduating in December 2018 with a double major in Corporate Communication and Psychology.

Eventually, she wants to study Industrial-Organizational Psychology for graduate school, but her immediate plans are to take a gap year and move to China to teach English and start a travel YouTube channel.

She loves photography, reading science fiction, fantasy, and dystopian novels, and absolutely cannot wait for the next season of Game of Thrones.


Psych Bytes Interns
These articles were written by our wonderful interns at Psych Bytes!


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