How to Find the Right Therapist for You

The process of beginning therapy can be hard for many people.

First, we have to acknowledge there is a problem or concern that needs addressing. Then we consider possible approaches to resolving our problem before we ever take any action steps such as beginning therapy.

Once we have decided to give therapy a shot and are ready to begin counseling, we have to figure out who to trust with our most personal thoughts and feelings, who can help us create the change we seek and who we can feel truly comfortable and open with (or who can do those things for our loved one). This can be a daunting task!

“Finding the right therapist for you can be a lot like dating…”

A parent recently asked me how people are supposed to know who is good in the mental health field. From her perspective, she had taken her daughter to several providers over the years and invested time, money, and trust with very few positive results.

She began calling mental health providers and asking them for data on how effective they are personally as therapists. She wanted empirical evidence that they are successful in their work with clients in order to best select a therapist for her child.

She was frustrated to learn that it is very rare for a therapist to have that kind of quantitative data about their work.

Understandably she wondered how she was supposed to pick a name off of a list or a website and know that this person was a good fit for her family’s needs.

It is easy to empathize with this mother’s desire to get effective treatment for her child and confusion about how to find a therapist who can help.

It’s not uncommon for people to be unsure about how to find the right therapist for themselves or their family. There are questions that you can ask and steps you can take to help ensure that you find a therapist who can meet your needs.

Understanding the Different Types of Therapists

The difference between psychiatrists and psychologists and the alphabet soup of credentials after professionals’ names can be very confusing.

Psychiatrists (MD, DO) primarily prescribe medications whereas psychologists (PhD, PsyD, LPA), counselors (LPC), licensed clinical social workers (LCSW) and licensed marriage and family therapists (LMFT) provide talk therapy where you learn new coping strategies or ways of thinking through problems and gain insight.

In some circumstances, medication and therapy together may be the best course of treatment for an individual.

Ask for Therapist Recommendations

Start by asking people you trust whom they recommended for counseling services. Your doctor knows you and is likely to be connected to mental health providers in your area.

They can provide you with a list of possible therapists based on their experience with that professional and feedback from other patients.

If you know someone in the mental health field, they often have good insight into the reputations and clinical skills of their colleagues. Faith leaders may also be able to provide you with information about local mental health therapists.

Another great source for referrals is your own friends and family. Who have they seen and do they trust the care they received? Would they recommend the therapist or practice to you?

Always ask whomever you seek a referral from if they would refer their own loved ones to that person or practice so you know this is someone they highly trust.

Do Your Research

A little bit of research on the front end can help ensure that you find a mental health professional who can best meet your needs. You wouldn’t go to a fertility specialist to figure out your heart problem and you shouldn’t go to a therapist who is not trained or specialized in the area of your concern.

While many mental health professionals have a broad base of training and experience, you want to find someone who has developed a niche or expertise that fits your particular needs and uses evidence-based practices which are therapeutic approaches that have empirical evidence that supports their efficacy.

It is okay to ask about what graduate program they received their degree from and their training, experience, and success with particular populations or concerns.

You can also verify licensure status and see any board disciplinary action against a person’s license by contacting their respective field’s licensing board in your state, often via websites like this one.

Finding the Right Therapist for You

Finding the right therapist for you can be a lot like dating. You need to have good chemistry in order for it to work.

Ask yourself what type of personality you respond best to – Is it someone who is more soft-spoken and gentle in their words or someone who compassionately yet directly tells it like it is for example?

Therapists are not “one size fits all.” Personality fit of the therapist and client matters in terms of comfort, trust, and engagement in therapy.

Collaboration between the therapist and the client through a positive therapeutic relationship are key ingredients for effective treatment.

Most therapists have bios on their websites that describe their therapeutic approach and a little bit about who they are. These can be a great starting point for exploring a possible match.

“find a therapist who has developed aN expertise that fits your particular needs.”

Sometimes doing a brief consultation either in-person or via phone with a potential therapist can help you determine if they are someone you may feel comfortable with. It gives you a chance to ask questions and get a feel for what they are like.

When I spoke with the mother who was searching for a good therapist for her daughter, they had started seeing a new therapist.

As we talked about these strategies she identified that when she first sought therapy for her daughter she did not talk to anyone to get a recommendation because she was worried about what people may think of her family.

She had recently decided to reach out to her child’s pediatrician who was supportive and told her about an evidenced based therapy for her daughter’s concerns and gave her names of several therapists who specialize in that area.

She had done her research and found a therapist she thought her child would work well with and did meet with them briefly before beginning therapy services.

While they are at the beginning of their work with the new therapist, the mother expressed that she and her child were both already feeling more confident and hopeful in this new treatment and therapist as well.

A little bit of preparation and research can help you connect with the right therapist for you and your needs.

Therapy can bring about positive life changes when the therapist and client connect well and work together on mutually agreed upon goals that are tuned to the client’s specific situation.

Click here for more content by Amanda McGough, Ph.D.!

Amanda McGough, Ph.D.
Dr. McGough enjoys working with children, adolescents, and adults. Her special interests include depression, anxiety, suicide prevention, grief after suicide loss, self-harming behaviors, life transitions, behavior problems, and parenting skills. Her approach is strengths-based, straight-forward, supportive and nonjudgmental. In working with children and adolescents, Dr. McGough involves family members when appropriate to address family dynamics and help parents. She has specialized training in providing Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) to address difficulties with managing emotions. Dr. McGough serves on the Board of Directors for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s North Carolina Chapter.


  1. I like how you mentioned that not all therapists work for certain people. My friend really needs to hire a counselor. These tips could really help my friend find a counselor, so thanks for sharing them.

  2. I appreciate that you mentioned that you should read the bio of a therapist before you hire them. I think that sounds like a great way to find one who will properly meet your needs. My son wants to find a therapist because he is struggling with depression, and it will be important for us to know that we could find one who we could trust will be good. When we look for one, I will be sure to have him read their bio beforehand.

  3. I like what you said about finding a therapist with a personality that you respond well to. My sister has been telling me about how she wants to start going to therapy for her anxiety soon. I’ll share this information with her so that she can find the right professional to help her with this.

  4. My daughter has been experiencing a large amount of stress because she isn’t getting the grades she would like to be getting in college. I think it would be a good idea for her to work with a therapist to help her learn how to deal with the stress. I found it helpful when you mentioned that it is important to do a lot of research when looking for the right therapist to use. I think

  5. You made a great point about doing research that can help ensure that you find a professional who best meets your needs. My husband needs a therapist because of his childhood and he asked me to help him find tips on how to choose someone. These tips will be useful as we search for said professional to help him out.

  6. Thank you for your advice on finding the right therapist because all therapists are different and have different niches. I heard from a friend that therapy can be helpful for just life stuff. I wanted to look into it more and your article taught me that brains are complicated, and there are lots of different kinds of therapists.

  7. A friend of mine was telling me that he wants some help with a few problems, and I was curious about how he would choose the right psychologist. I appreciate your advice about asking relatives about any therapist they can recommend. I will ask around to help him find professional help.

  8. I appreciate you saying that one should consider the degree, expertise, and approaches of the therapist when looking for one. I think I need to bring my mom to a mental health counseling appointment because she’s been quieter since she arrived from her overseas work. I’ll take note of your tips as I convince my mom to see a therapist while finding the right one that would fit her needs as well.

  9. Thanks for mentioning that psychologists provide therapy that focuses on learning new coping strategies or ways of thinking through issues. My father recently passed away, and I haven’t been processing it very well. I’ve turned to several unhealthy coping mechanisms and haven’t been able to articulate my feelings to my family and friends. I’ll have to start looking for a great psychologist in my area!

  10. Thank you for your tip to ask trusted people if they have any therapist recommendations. I think I need to send my daughter to see a mental health counselor. She’s been quieter than usual, sleeps a lot, and has gained a lot of weight, which are all symptoms of depression. I will make sure to keep your tip in mind as I search for the right therapist for my daughter.

  11. Thank you for stating that when looking for a therapist, you need to ask yourself what type of personality you respond best to. I recently suffered a lot of emotional trauma, so I’ve been thinking of going to a psychologist. I will definitely keep all of your great tips and information in mind when trying to find the perfect therapist for me.

    • Brooklyn,

      Thank you for sharing your story with us. My favorite quote in the article is “Finding the right therapist for you can be a lot like dating. You need to have good chemistry in order for it to work.” If you and your therapist have conflicting personalities, you might not be getting the most effective treatment! We are glad this article was useful and we hope you find the perfect therapist soon! 🙂



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