Fathers, the Forgotten Parent: The Father’s Contribution to Parenting

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Fathers, the forgotten parent, play a meaningful role in children's lives. They provide a distinctive blend of firm yet loving touch to their approach...

Fathers play a meaningful role in children’s lives. They provide a distinctive blend of firm yet loving touch to their approach to parenting. However, in today’s culture fathers are sometimes depicted as inept and detached with regards to child rearing.

With an increasing number of fathers having to travel for work, external stressors, and numerous competing responsibilities, it is easy for men to become less involved with parenting. The benefits of father’s involvement have become inconsequential in regards to parenting.

 

Bringing Home Baby

When we brought our first child home from the hospital, at times my husband would look to me for guidance, I told him that I am new to this too. We needed to figure this it out together.

I wanted to give our son the benefit of having both parents actively involved in parenting, upbringing and helping with his life choices. I wanted our son and our possible future children to be able to depend on both of us equally for all their needs.

 

Evolution of Parenthood

As time went on, our parenting skills evolved, our knowledge grew, and our distinctive parenting styles emerged. With the birth of our second child, I started critiquing, judging and correcting my husband’s style of parenting. Calling it too harsh or strict and dismissing his personal experiences and talents.

“If your children have the gift of two parents, then their upbringing should reflect that.”

With the constant transition that raising children brings, I forgot the fundamental rule that I set at the very beginning, which was to allow him also to parent our children and not be idle while waiting for my approval with decisions.

 

The Father-Son Relationship

I find the hardest to remove myself from that dynamic. I am constantly reminding my husband that he is just a little boy, and my husband tells me that he is raising a man, not a little boy.

He brings a unique set of gifts and approach that I do not. They bond while enjoying each other’s company without uttering a single word which is still quite a mystery to me, yet it works for them. He is raising a man, a reality that I must accept and respect.

 

The Father-Daughter Relationship

I enjoy watching and is quite beautiful. The way that our daughter seeks out her dad’s approval.

“Fathers play a meaningful role in children’s lives. They provide a distinctive blend of firm yet loving touch to their approach to parenting.”

I know of all the benefits that can come from our daughter having an active, positive relationship with her father: her self-esteem, self-confidence, body image, future romantic relationships; she needs to feel safe and secure, and so on. I bring something different to the dynamic, we have our special bond, but I cannot diminish their father-daughter connection.

 

Embracing Father’s Role

If your children have the gift of two parents, then their upbringing should reflect that. Embrace what Fathers have to offer to their children and allow them to make mistakes so both he and child can learn and grow.

Fatherhood requires support, patience, and understanding as each have their unique learning curve.

Click here to read more articles by Bea Moise, M.S.!

Bea Moise, M.S.
Beatrice Moise, M.S., BCCS., is a Mom to Awesome Jacob and Marvelous Abigail. Board Certified Cognitive Specialist, Parenting Coach at Southeastpsych.com. Creator of A Child Like Mine, LLC created to help parents of children with behavior issues and unique needs on the Autism Spectrum. She is a writer and has a monthly blog in Charlotte Parent Magazine called Thrive. Follow her on twitter @Bea_EsioM & @AChildLikeMine

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